Borderlandz: The Ghetto-Sequel!
by DatGhostDough
Summary: A parody of Borderlands: The Presequel by YouTuber: DatGhostDough - Characters Include (Xbox Names Shown Below) John (DatGhostDough) Alimer (StreetSkateKing) Aaron (Vanhelsin123) Jake (UnicornRemix) Connor (Bravo6RPG9).
1. Miss Moxxi's Problem

This Users YouTube Account: **DatGhostDough** | Xbox Gamertag:** DatGhostDough **

Check out my channel on YouTube for amazing gaming videos and much more!

**_Borderlandz: The Ghetto-Sequel!_**

**W**elcome to a world of exciting adventures... (and erotic looking posters)  
>A world of Mailbox tipping welfare collectors.<br>And of course the fragrance of Hormones and Push-Up Bra's...

Oh, I'm sorry, I got a little carried away.  
>I think It's it about time you meet our Hero's...<p>

Being the first to be introduced,  
>Is <em>Connor the Scrub-Ingot Cornchip<em>,  
>Connor the Cornchip's special Action Skill is throw a heaping pile a steaming hot Lay's BBQ Patato Chips.<br>He's a very special Hero.  
>Who was kicked out of the 4th Grade by a 420 Blazin' Teacher known as FaZe Cronin.<p>

Our next hero is _Jake the Fetus Crusher_.  
>His Action Skill is Cannibalism.<br>He will reach for the nearest living organism and will EAT IT!  
>He gains Cannibal-Crunch Stacks, (Levels)<br>For each Living organism He eats,  
>The more Cannibal-Crunch Stacks, The more effective his combat skillz.<p>

Our third hero is _Aaron the Animal_,  
>His Action Skill is to listen to one of his favorite songs known as "Enter Sandman"<br>Upon hearing it, All Xbox mics within' the vicinity of 8 Miles,  
>Will absolutely just, BLOW OUT! (So will the enemy's heads)<p>

And of course, Who cannot forget _Micheal 803_,  
>His Action Skill is RAGING RETRIBUTION!<br>With this Skill,  
>He shoots Xbox's and PlayStation's right out from his Finger-Nipples out of a fit of rage!<p>

And to introduce two DLC characters,  
>We have...<p>

_Alemir the Black Wizard,_  
>Who can summon ghetto chain-gang slaves as his Action Skill.<br>He is often mistaken for a awkward Homeless Veteran posing as a Hero.

And finally,  
>We have<em> DatGhostDough the Bad Influence<em>,  
>He will command a army of trust worthy subscribers to pull of a clash of clans,<br>And use anything ranging from chairs to a Popsicle to destroy monuments, People, Buildings, Etc.

Good, Now that you know of our legendary war fighters,  
>You are ready to experience something amazing,<br>Something that not even Obama can stop from stopping the stoppers. (Even dough that made no sense once so ever)  
>Your about to experience...<br>LIFE IN THE BORDER-SHITZ!

_Let's Begin..._

One day, Connor the Corn-Scrub was sitting down enjoying a nice peanut brittle and hipster Sand-Hawk,  
>When out of nowhere,<br>Came a huge piece of shit,  
>Falling at depth defying speed.<br>"What in der hell is dat thingy?" Connor screams with excitement.  
>"It's a depth defying piece of shit my dear friend!" Yells Jake the Fetus Crusher,<br>Chewing senselessly on baby fingers.

"Well what are going do about it?"  
>"...I Dun Know..." Says Jake now missing a finger.<br>"I taste metal..." As he looks down to see his now missing finger.  
>"Oh, Well that"s spectacular... Hey... Why is that-"<br>Conner gets cut off by a large scream heard in the distance.  
>"Hey, That sounded like it came from..."<br>He pauses for a moment, Then a surprised expression streaks across his round soft face.  
>"I know! It came from Miss Moxxi's Bar!" He yells with great expression.<p>

When Connor and Jake finally reach Miss Moxxi's Bar, They see a strange figure sitting at the bar table, Washing all of his problems away over a bottle of Rakk Ale.  
>"SIR! DO YOU NEED PILLS FOR DA OLD MIND!?" Jake screams ignorantly at the man.<br>"Shut up you Numb-Boy" The figure replies.  
>"But why?" Asks Jake .<br>"I'm busy...Listening to my... uhhh... Music..." Says the figure nervously.  
>Connor walks up behind the figure and flicks his ear.<br>Upon Connor doing this, The figure stands up and blasts the song "Enter Sandman".  
>Jake and Connor fall to the ground and they both succumb to a skull smashing headache.<br>"OH MA GAWD!" Connor screams while preforming a seizure-like dance on the floor of the bar.  
>"Please... Help... Me..." Jake says desperately as he tries to use his to arms to pull his disabled arms and legs out of Moxxi's Bar.<br>The figure laughs with no hesitation.  
>"My name is Vanhelsin, Just call me Aaron..." Aaron turns his I-Pod off and puts it In his right pocket.<br>Why dont we all go and go on a exciting field trip to A Thousand Cuts?  
>Jake and Connor look at each other with a look of despair and groan.<p> 


	2. The journey to A Thousand Chicken Legs

"**W**elcome to **_A Thousand Cuts_** boys, Were only the most ghetto of the ghetto live." Aaron Explains.  
>Aaron throws Jake and Connor out of the back of the Bandit Technical.<br>"It smells like old people's bed sheets" Jake points out.  
>Yeah, and Its LOOKS LIKE the true projects! Connor yells.<br>All of a sudden, The three hear what sounds to be a wise man sitting on top of one of the many ghetto houses sitting up on A Thousand Cuts.  
>"You can't get the bane, If you be walkin' with a cane!" The seeming to be shrouded figure screams at the top of his lungs.<br>Everyone stares with a blank expression showing their confusion.  
>"What? You have never seen a dude in his bath robes before?..." The Shrouded figure chuckles in a very annoying way and accidentally trips and falls off of the ghetto building.<p>

Aaron looks suspicious "What did you just say?..." He asks with great question and authority.  
>"I-I-I jus' wanted to get me some boxes homie..." The man says with a great ton of neediness in his voice.<br>Jake and Connor approach the man with a slow walk, While holding their breath in fear of the ghetto mans possible bad breath.  
>"Uh, Sir, What is your name exactly?" Connor asks curiously.<br>"Ma-My Name is-is Alllllliiimer the BLACK WIZARD!" The man screams and show great anger with his dirty old dark scared hands.  
>"AND I WANT SOME... Nuggets!" Alimer runs at Jake as if he was running from the tax collector.<br>Jake stares in horror as this awkward ghetto man runs at him with his riped bath robes flowing in the wind.  
>As alimer comes closer, Jake could see his one crooked tooth shining back at him with great dentistry.<br>"IS THAT THE ONLY TOOTH YOU BRUSH!?" Jake screams as he begins to turn back around a run back to the bandit technical.  
>"OHHAHAHAHA MY BOY, AND IT WILL BE MY ONLY ONE I HAVE IN ABOUT 3 YEARS IF I DONT SEE MY DENTIST, DR. ZED!" The old man replies with a drastic vocal pitch.<br>Jake hops into the technical as Alimer starts to rock it back and forth, Hoping it will spawn something close to Meth.  
>As Aaron watches alimer go into his fit of rage over meth, He gets an idea.<br>Aaron slowly pulls out a glass bong from his ghetto adventure backpack.  
>Upon lighting the sensitive glass bong, Alimer quickly truns around with a desperate look on his dirty face.<br>"What der fuck is dat smell!" Alimers Pink eyes go bloodshot and he foams from the mouth.  
>Aaron looks at him with a surprising smirk.<br>"Want it?..." Aaron asked gently.  
>"What da fuk? How you been hidin' this shit from me?" Alimer asks in a extreme ratchet tone of voice.<br>Alimer starts to run furiously at Aaron with extreme curiosity.  
>His determined look fixed on that one glass bong.<br>But when alimer goes to grab the bong from Aaron, Aaron throws the gentle glass bong at the hyperion new-u respawn station.  
>"HOLD UP!" Alimer runs at the glass bong while it is in mid flight.<br>But alimer is too late, The glass meth bong smashes over the very top of the new-u station.  
>"No..." Alimer slowly falls to his knees and picks up little shattered pieces of the broken meth bong.<br>"You...stupid...mother fucker..." Alimer looks back and forth at Aarons now empty hand that used to be inhabited with a beautiful glass bong,  
>And at what that beautiful bong is now, shattered.<p>

"You son of a bitch..." The wizard remarks.  
>"Fine, I give up, I'll come with you sons of bitches..."<br>Alimer the Black Wizard slowly walks to the bandit technical and sighs, Then, With no hesitation, Sits in the passenger seat.  
>"Lets go you baby bastards, I Ain't got all day..."<br>Jake and Connor look at each other with a very confused look.  
>"What is he doing?" Jake asked awkwardly.<br>"I really dont know, But we are just going to have to play along with it..." Connor States.  
>Aaron picks up a fallen ripped piece of bathrobe that seemed to have fell of of Alimer the Black Wizard's Bathrobe<br>Aaron hands the ripped off piece to alimer the black wizard.  
>"Uhhh, I belive this is yours?" Aaron asks.<br>"GIVE ME THAT you stupid cookie suckin' bitch!" Alimer replies as he furiously rips the ghetto piece of cloth out of Aaron's hand.  
>Aaron quickly walks back to the drivers side of the bandit technical, and puts the whole thing in gear.<br>"Are you sure your poor old ass ears can handle the loud rev of the motor?!" Aaron says proudly.  
>"Ah, Shut the hell up you vanilla looking hipster."<br>"Sure old man, Whatever you say..." Aaron puts the petal to the metal and takes off leaving a furious tire burn into the misty old gravel.


	3. The Dusty Ole' Dust

"Oh my fucking gawd dude!" Connor yells with great agitation in his little voice.  
>"Too... Hot..." Jake says as they ride the bandit technical into the brutal hot desert environment.<br>All of a sudden, They see a awkward looking aircraft, swerving through the air as if it has been hit by an elephants ass.  
>"THIS IS WHY THE CHICKEN DIES CROSSING THE ROAD.. I MEAN, CONCRETE YELLOW LINE!" The aircraft crashes and a large fire is set ablaze.<br>"what the f?" Aaron stops the bandit technical and gets out.  
>"Let's go and check this shit out..."<br>Aaron runs to the crashed aircraft.  
>"Aw shit, I'm too old for this shit..."<br>Alimer slowly steps out of the bandit technical and uses his cane to support his partly broken hip.  
>"This mother fucker just not healing, now is it?"<br>When the all arrive to the crash site, A figure pulls himself out of the crashed aircraft.  
>"Come on GR3G-TR4P! Don't want to short circuit your mating boards again..." The figure says in a shady way.<br>"Minion! We need to get MILKSHAKES! MILKSHAKES I SAY! MILK...SHAKES! The little robot says.  
>"I thought that made you poop chute your circuit board!?" The figure asks with great expression.<br>"No! That's only when it see old people!" The little robots screams.  
>"The fuck is that little piece of yellow shit!?" Alimer that Black Wizard Yells.<br>"Oh, I poop chuted minion!" The little robot yells.  
>"Oh, I'm sorry, Nice to meet you, I am a G.R.3.G - T.R.4.P robot."<br>"Well that's nice you sum bi-"  
>GREG TR4P's eye glows red and he pulls out a hyperion shotgun.<br>"NO SWEARING! It's Jams up my control circuit..."  
>Jake runs over to the robot and licks it.<br>"It tastes like my step moms fle- I mean, Cookies."  
>"THAT'S MY ANTENNA CABLE THANK YOU VERY MUCH YOU CANNIBALISTIC TICK LICKER!"<br>Connor runs over to shake the robots hand.  
>"Hello Greg Trap!" Exclaims Connor.<br>"Hello my soon-to-be-bed-slave!" The little robot screams with excitement.  
>"Wait, what?" Nevermind that slave! Let's go adventuring! To the Vehicle!<br>As they all start to run back to the vehicle, (Except for Alimer the Black Wizard, who walks...)  
>A giant thresher swallows the vehicle and goes right back down into the ground.<p> 


End file.
